Why I am not a man or a woman is one of the most popular articles I’ve written in years.
So what exactly does this mean?
It’s a lot more than just “I’m not a woman, but that’s okay.”
It means I’ve had to grow up in a world that wasn’t inclusive enough.
It means that my experience is not unique, that there are many people like me.
I am a woman and a queer woman.
I grew up in the gay, black, and brown communities and I grew out of the experiences I have of being bullied, of being sexually assaulted, of having to walk down the street with my shoes and makeup on and without my clothes on.
And that’s why I’m not ashamed to be queer and/or a woman.
If you’re going to be honest about your life, that’s the first step.
For those who have been raised in a home that didn’t have LGBTQIA+ people, the first question is whether you have been exposed to gender dysphoria and/ or are at risk of it.
And for those of you who have a family history of gender dysphoric disorder, that can take years of therapy and medications, or even suicide.
And in all of that, you have to be able to trust yourself, because that’s where you’re meant to trust your brain.
So, for me, I’m going to start by acknowledging that I’m genderqueer, but then I’m also going to acknowledge that I am cisgender, and I’m still going to trust myself.
This is not a simple binary choice.
It’s about acknowledging who you are.
It is not about gender identity, or your sex or gender presentation, or how you identify.
I know that there is still a lot of fear and misunderstanding surrounding gender dysphorias.
I can’t help but feel like I’m living through another version of the Civil Rights Movement, the Jim Crow era.
And I’m proud to be part of that movement.
I’m an activist and a member of the LGBTQIA community, but I am also a proud ally.
I don’t consider myself part of a movement, but part of the conversation.
But I want to be clear that I recognize that this is my body, and that I have no right to dictate what is or isn’t “normal.”
It’s my body.
And it’s up to me to decide if I want my body to be something I like or not.
And if it is something I do not want, I have to work with it to create my own body, not someone else’s.